Is Love More Than Romance?

Written by Haley Adams

​The theme of how people feel love is addressed in a study by Zita Oravecz, Chelsea Muth, and Joachim Vandekerckhove. The authors explore several aspects of feeling loved that stem from different types of situations, rather than only romantic scenarios. Their work serves as a starting point for researchers to assess what is involved regarding feelings of love. Further exploration could include incorporating personality assessments, in addition to the situational questionnaire. Ultimately, the researchers find that these feelings of love promote a healthy lifestyle and emotional well-being and often stem from experiences that have no romantic implications. 

Why do we need to feel loved?

F​alling in love is an intricate process, partially due to complications in communication. The general public tends to seek out situations that make them feel loved. These feelings of being appreciated on a daily basis increase well-being and also improve self-esteem. These effects are portrayed in “positive relationships, positive emotions… and accomplishments in everyday life” (Oravecz, Muth, & Vandekerckhove, 2016). Considering these results, it is not surprising that when an adult is concerned about interpersonal relationships, the anxiety that results from these concerns plays a role in shaping attachment styles. It is important to note that cultural norms are also involved in how an individual feels and communicates love. 

How do we feel love?

This study also examines how individuals feel about and receive messages of love. By incorporating the Cultural Consensus Theory, the researchers sought to “derive shared agreement or consensus truth from sets of items centered on a knowledge domain, while simultaneously accounting for and measuring differences in knowledge levels and cognitive response biases of respondents” (Oravecz et al., 2016). In order to accomplish this goal, the researchers asked participants to describe events in which they felt loved. Next, a second group of participants evaluated the resulting list by stating that the various scenarios, which were supposed to elicit feelings of being loved, were either true, false, or unclear. These statements began with “most people felt loved when…” and were completed with items that included “someone is polite to them… they feel close to nature… they attend a religious service… [and] someone is sexually attracted to them” (Oravecz et al., 2016).  These examples were the highest ranked items on the list. 

What do these results mean for me?

​A key point of the study is that feeling loved does not always involve romance. Many individuals felt loved when they were in a setting that promoted emotional wellness, which implies that love is more than simply romance. Prince Charming sweeping a person off of their feet will make them feel loved, but this study indicates that simply being appreciated can also promote feelings of love. The scenarios that cause an individual to experience love will vary from person to person. Loving yourself can involve discovering experiences that promote these positive feelings and push you towards an emotionally healthy life.

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​Reference
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Oravecz, Z., Muth, C., & Vandekerckhove, J. (2016). Do People Agree on What Makes One Feel Loved? A Cognitive Psychometric Approach to the Consensus on Felt Love. PloS one, 11(4), 1-13. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0152803